Training was incredible. I was picked up by a limousine and taken to a private plane. We landed on an island somewhere in the Pacific. You’ll excuse me if I don’t go into too much detail. It’s not as if what I do is a regular job. As the joke goes, “If I tell you, I’ll have to kill you” ha-ha 

       I have to say that I enjoyed every moment of it. Getting up before dawn, running, target practice, practical out in the field training, camaraderie of fellow recruits and the new lifelong friendships I’ve made.  The new skills that I have learned made me the man that I knew I always was. A good and righteous man that always does the right thing. Until I have to do the other thing. 

      As per usual, I ended up being in the top 10 percent of the new trainees. It has been more than 10 years and I am still very proud of that accomplishment.  I have been on many assignments, traveled to every continent and rid the world of many of what we in my career field call “unsuitables.”

“Unsuitables” are exactly what they sound like.   I am specifically trained for one thing. I, like my colleagues, are sourced out to get rid of problematic “unsuitables.” 

      At this very moment, I am on assignment in a major city. It’s actually about 15 minutes from where I grew up. I am staying in a large apartment complex. From the outside, it looks like an old hotel. But, I was told by management, that it has always been apartments. It’s not the type of place that I’m used to. I am typically moved into a beautiful luxury hotel suite with all mod coms and 24-hour room service, masseuse on call, a sparkling Olympic sized pool and a very fast European sports car to drive.

     Here, the walls are paper thin and I am sure that the only thing that separates me from my upstairs neighbor is a plank of wood. My neighbors, on the other side of the paper wall, have no courtesy when it comes to noise levels. 

     I’m almost directly across from the pool. On a hot day, I see people go in and never come out. They’re in there all day. Someone may bring them drinks and food. But, they just don’t leave the pool. Therefore, I’m sure the pool has been used as a public toilet. And,  I’ve been given something to drive that I’m sure won’t pass a smog test. 

    This place is why they made the sad-faced emoji.

     I can’t say that it’s been all bad though. There are people here that I will honestly miss when my assignment is finished. There’s Pam that lives upstairs. I met Pam, one morning, coming down the stairs right out front of my place. I knew it had to be her because I could hear something rolling across my ceiling and followed the noise to the front door, heard the front door close behind them. It was Pam. She was wheeling down a small suitcase. I asked her if I could be of any help. She screamed, “Stop trying to steal my bag!”  I was taken aback a bit.  I assured her that I was only being a gentleman.  She finally stopped trying to hit me with her purse. She scowled at me, hissed the word “freak” and walked to her car. 

     I then met Larry. He’s told me he’s lived here for the past 10 years. I tried to not look shocked. I swear I can’t do 10 months here. He knows everything and everyone’s business. I’m not the sort of person to enjoy sitting around gossiping. But, I need to fit in and I did learn all about my next door neighbors. Steve and Joe.

     I hate Steve and Joe.