Okay, I’m out of the building. I just need to get to my car and get the hell out of town.
I need to stop and get a little gas, cash, and food.
Lot’s of people leaving. Even my good old bro dude Chris is heading out. Well, won’t Cheryl to be upset to find out that I’m not the only person leaving early on a Friday afternoon. The snarky bitch.
I’ll pull into the gas station that I usually pass by on the way to work. I don’t want anyone to recognize me.
Thank God it’s quiet here. I’ve been looking around to see if I recognize anyone. I don’t know why I feel like a fugitive. I’m being “investigated” for being a “bully’.
I haven’t gotten any more texts or phone calls. That’s a good sign. Maybe, it’s not as bad as I’m thinking.
I’ll just drive around for a little while and think of what to say. I can come up with questions that he might ask and have my answers ready.
Yes. I’ll just drive around for a little while. And if I accidentally drive onto the highway, heading due north…
Okay, let me just get some gas. Just in case.
The display on the gas pump said, “DECLINED. TAKE CARD INSIDE.”
Why won’t the machine take my card? I KNOW my credit card works. It always works. I pay my cards off every month. It has to work.
Maybe, there’s something wrong with the pump.
I walked inside the gas station. I hate going into these places. I’m always sure it’ll be getting robbed by some thug. You know the type.
Too lazy to work so they come and steal from hard-working innocent people.
“Fill up on number six,” I said.
“It says declined sir,” said the sad-faced long greasy-haired idiot.
“Try it again. There’s nothing wrong with my card.”
“It declined again sir,” stupid said.
“Try this card then. Maybe something’s wrong with it,” I said with a bit too much aggression.
“It’s declined to sir.”
“What the fuck. It can’t be declined! Try this one! I yelled” Making him jump a little.
Stupid took my third card, with a shakey hand and put it in the machine.
“I don’t know what to say. It’s declined too,” he said. AGAIN!
I grabbed my card and left.
I’ll go and drive to the bank and use the ATM and get some cash.
It’s already almost 4:30. How is the time going so f’ing fast!?
I won’t get out. I’ll go through the drive-thru ATM.
I put my card into the machine. The screen lit up and said, “CARD HAS BEEN CONFISCATED. PLEASE GO INSIDE OF BANK.”
What the absolute…
Okay, I have some cash in my wallet. I wanted more. But, it’ll have to do. I’m just going to drive around for a while and think. Highway five is just around the corner. I’m just going to get on it and drive for a bit and think.
My phone is ringing. Who’s calling me now?
Incoming call: Agent James Black
It’s not 5:50! I’m not late! I don’t have to be home yet!
Okay, I’ll answer and sound relaxed. I’m not a fugitive for f’s sake.
“Hello,” I said.
FBI, I hate those initials, Agent Black said, “Hello Frank.”
“Yes. What do you want?” I asked. Like I keep saying, I’m not a damn fugitive. And it’s not even five yet.
Black continued, “We’re still on for 5:30 correct?”
“Yes, why?” I asked.
“Because you’re on highway five going the opposite direction of your lovely home. You have half a tank of gas and won’t get that far.” Black said.
I asked, “How would you know where I am and how much gas I have?”
He said, “You’re under investigation Frank. You stopped at the gas station on 5th and Howe and all of your cards were declined. You went to the drive-thru ATM at Pacific Bank. Your card was confiscated. We have blocked all access to your money. You drove onto highway five. Heading out of town.”
Seriously, it’s not as if I’m a murderer on the run. As I said, I’m not a fugitive.
“Frank are you there?” Black asked.
“Yes. Of course, I’m here.”
“Good. Please, take the next exit and drive home. I and your lovely family will be waiting for you.” Agent asshole said.
“If not, you will be considered a fugitive.”
Sweet Mother of…