Sweet Jesus! What’s wrong with all of these people?
I called Matt. I could have called Susie or my parents first. But, they’re all so damn dramatic.
I’m not even sure if the phone rang once when Matt answered.
Matt said, “What took you so long to call me? Do you know how much trouble you’re in and everyone that knows you is in?”
I asked, “What kind of trouble? I’ve got you, Susie and Becky texting me. Becky apparently hates me. And, as for my parents, I should be inheriting everything in both of their wills this time tomorrow. haha”
Matt said, “None of this is funny Frank. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown today. The FB fucking I came to see me.” They walked into my work and came straight up to me. They KNEW WHO I WAS!!”
Matt continued, “He knew who I was. I almost couldn’t even remember English for a minute. I was trying to figure out how in the hell these people knew who I was. But, they walked straight up to me and said, “Hello, Matt Jones. We would like to speak to you.”
I asked, “What else did they know about you? Why did they come? What’s it got to do with me?”
Matt said, “It has EVERYTHING to do with you! They asked to see my phone. I told them that I didn’t have to show them my phone. Because I know my rights.”
I agreed, “Yes you do.”
Matt continued, “He said, “I bet you do. Let me see your phone. You can show it to me here, or you can show it to me at the facility.” “I’m like, what is a facility?” “He just looked at me and said, “Facility.”
I asked, “Did you give him your phone?”
Matt yelled, “Of course I did! It’s the FBI.” “I told them the password and they looked through it. They started touching the screen and opening apps. I realized it was only social media apps.”
I asked calmly, “Why? Which particular apps?”
Matt yelled, “They said that they’re a new law about bullying. They said it’s gotten out of control. People are scared and some are even harming themselves, due to people bullying them online.”
I said, “So, people get bullied every day. We can’t help if someone’s so weak that they can’t take a little criticism. Sometimes you have to tell someone they’re stupid, or ugly or fat. Or all of the above. hahah
What kind of law can they pass about stating facts online?”
Matt continued to yell, “There’s no WE! I don’t do any of that. The apps that you go on Frank! The ones that you are friends with me on. The ones that you go on and tell everyone what you think about everything and everyone.The kind of law that holds people accountable for the things that they are saying online. The kind of law that sends out texts and emails to the people that bullies know. They looked at all of your messages and my responses to you. The messages that you have told people what needs to be done with them if they don’t think or look the same way that you do. The messages that where you tell people what you want to do to them.The ones that you go to and BULLY PEOPLE ON!”
To be honest, I’m feeling a bit light headed. I think I might lose my appetite.
I asked Matt, “So what happens when people send out messages, that are considered bullying?”
Matt explained, “Big brother is watching all of us, Frank. I told you this before. As soon as the app realizes what you’ve said, it sends a signal out. The signal goes to the police and the FBI. After someone reads it they then find you. They FIND YOU! They also find your phone. They contact the phone carrier and tell them to send them all your contacts and texts. With your contacts, they figure out who’s family and friends. Somehow, they’re able to locate exactly where everyone is. They know where your friends and family members live and work. I asked, what if I’m in the Bahamas on vacation. They said, they would find me. They said they’re everywhere! They find out where everyone works and contact their employers. They contact their family members. Everyone gets in trouble.”
I swear I may lose my appetite any second.
I was getting a bit scared. But, I had to ask, “What happens to the people in the contact lists? What happens to the people that I know?”
Matt’s voice sounded shaky. He said, “They contact all of our phone carriers and find where we all work and if you have kids where they go to school. They come and find all of us. And because we choose to know you, we get in trouble. We are in trouble because of you, by default. The big mean one looked down at me and said, “If you knowingly choose to be best friends, someone who bullies others, that means you must be a bully too. Like attracts like and all.”
Matt continued, “And because I’m your best friend they came to my work. I can lose my job because I’m friends with you. If you have kids in college or want to go to college, they will make it so that they can’t go. Because they’re kids of a bully. Your parents can lose their pensions! They can’t even retire Frank! They said, they’ve tried to combat internet bullying for years and it’s gotten so bad that they are now going to punish..wait for this…not just the bully. They are going to punish EVERYONE the bully knows.”
I just got a text from a James Black. I don’t know anyone with that name. How in the hell did someone that’s not in my contact end up in my contacts?
I said, “Hold on a second Matt. I have a text from someone that I don’t know.”
1 PM -James Black:
Looking forward to meeting you at home at 5:30
I asked Matt, “What’s the name of the mean agent?”
Matt said, “James Black.”
I think I’ve lost my appetite. For the next five years.
picture courtesy of Adrianna Calvo